The first message is easy. Everyone types "hi". The hard part is what to say after hi, when the cursor blinks and you both wait for the other person to be interesting.
Why the second message is the hard one
It isn't a confidence problem. In a poll of 1,174 Americans, 47% of Gen Z called themselves "very confident" in their social skills, about the same as older generations, CNBC reported on 21 September 2026.
Starting is the weak spot. Only 37% of Gen Z and millennials said they often began conversations with people they didn't know at school, against 49% of boomers, according to the same CNBC and SurveyMonkey survey. Openers are a skill, and skills can be borrowed.
A formula for what to say after hi
Greeting, one detail, one easy question. The detail gives them something to react to. The question gives them something to answer.
"Hi" alone asks them to do all the work. Compare it with "Hi, just finished dinner — what time is it where you are?" That asks for five seconds of effort, and shows you'll do your share.
12 lines you can borrow
Easy. Five seconds to answer, nothing personal.
- Hi! What time is it where you are?
- Hey — good day or long day?
- Hi! What were you doing before this?
- Hello from somewhere very rainy. What's it like there?
Playful. A small game in one message.
- Hi. Quick one: tea or coffee?
- Hey! Tell me one thing you ate today.
- Hi — I'm avoiding work. What are you avoiding?
- Hello! Rate your day out of ten.
A little deeper. Only once they've matched your energy.
- Hi. What's taking up your head this week?
- Hey — what are you looking forward to?
- Hi! Learned anything odd lately?
- Hello. What would you be doing if you weren't here?
Used all twelve? The random question generator has more, sorted by how much effort they take to answer.
Replies that end it early
Some replies make it harder to work out what to say after hi, because they leave the other person nothing to answer. These four are the usual culprits.
- "asl?" as an opener. It turns a chat into a form. Here is what asl means and how to answer it.
- "wyd" on its own. It hands the work straight back.
- Three questions at once. Ask one, then respond to the answer.
- Comments on looks. From a stranger, they land as pressure.
Where we stand
We can't write your opener, and we don't suggest lines as you type. What we can do is smaller: add an interest before you start and we'll try to match you with someone who shares it, which hands you a first topic. If a chat with a real person goes quiet, there's a Would You Rather button.
What to say after hi gets easier with practice
Knowing what to say after hi isn't a talent. It's a habit: greet, add a detail, ask one easy thing. Try it five times tonight and the sixth will write itself.
Related: what to say when a conversation dies, 50 questions to ask strangers online, and how to fix dry texting. Got a line ready? Start a text chat.
Frequently Asked Questions
Say hi back, add one small detail about your moment, and ask one easy, specific question. For example: "Hi! Just finished dinner. What time is it where you are?" It gives the other person two things to respond to instead of none.
Treat it as an open door rather than a test. Answer with a greeting plus a question that takes five seconds to answer, such as "good day or long day?". If they reply with one word twice in a row, you are allowed to move on.
Avoid opening with "asl?", sending "wyd" on its own, firing off three questions at once, or commenting on how someone looks. Each of these either hands all the work to the other person or makes the chat feel like a form to fill in.
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